Afraid to be alone so much that you settle

I never understood how someone could go from one relationship to the next, never giving themselves time to find out about themselves. We call those people chronic daters. They are always dating someone. Two weeks, two months, three days, five months... Doesn't matter how long the relationship as long as you're in one.

Do you ever take time out after a relationship to get to know yourself? To find out what went wrong in the previous relationship? To evacuate, evaluate, and then execute a plan for the next one? Or are you so wrapped up in dating that the previous errors roll over into your next relationship? Your life shouldn't be like a cellular plan with rollover minutes. You should be responsible about the people you let into that intimate space (I'm not even talking sexual at this moment). Everyone should not be able to get that close to you. Your family shouldn't know 10 men/women that you dated this year. Your children shouldn't have relationships with 10 men/women in a year.

When you get out of a relationship, these should be some of the questions that you completely answer before engaging another relationship. What I mean by completely is answering truthfully without doubt in your own mind.
1. What went wrong?
2. What could I have done better?
3. What could they have done better?
4. What made me so susceptible to such a toxic relationship?
5. Did I stay longer than I should have?
6. If yes, why did I stay so long?
7. Is this like any of my previous relationships?
8. If yes, why do I like these types of relationships?
9. Did I have sex with this person before I knew their name (first, middle, last and nicknames)? Before I knew their birthdate? Before I knew their home address and telephone number? Before I knew their mother and father's name? Before I knew their children? Before I knew if they had children? Before I knew whether they wanted children or not? Before I knew their life goals? Before I knew their criminal background? Before I knew if they were a sex offender? BEFORE I KNEW THEIR HIV/AIDS STATUS??????
10. We are so free (because we're Americans; the land of the free and opportunity) that we give of ourselves too soon. Then when we get caught up in mess, we call on God to grab us out of it.

Let's stop moving from relationship to relationship and give God a chance to work on us. Spend time with yourself sometime. Take yourself out to eat. Take yourself to a movie. Take yourself on a vacation. Date yourself. If you know how to treat you, you'll be able to teach someone else how to treat you. Stop being so desperate for the first person that comes in your face with a smile and a nice compliment, that your quick to give up yourself (not just sex; your heart, your mind, your spirit, YOUR JOY).

If you know who you are, when someone else notices, you simply tell them "congratulations, you just found a jewel. Now do you know how to take care of such a precious stone?" and because you know your worth, you don't spend countless days sifting through the mess they're willing to give you. You allow some other thrown away stone do that.

Do me a favor, place a dollar amount on your worth and don't come down on your price for nothing! If he/she realizes your worth, they'll beg, steal or borrow the money to buy you (figuratively speaking). Let your mind be free before dating the next person. Free from the trauma of your past dating experience, free from the mess you brought to the relationship; free to completely give yourself to the next person.

Love ya!

Schawayna Raism
www.SchawaynaRaie.com
BookingSchawaynaRaie@gmail.com